In My Daughters Eyes
by WrittenWhilstDreaming
Summary: Slowly lowering her sleeping daughter into the cradle Rachel couldn't hold back the tears that slipped down her face. How could she do this? How could she walk out on her husband and her child? Now 18 years on Alyssa Hudson wants to know the truth.


**In My Daughters Eyes**

**Prologue: Does leaving make you weak?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its Characters**

**Slowly lowering her sleeping daughter into the cradle, Rachel couldn't hold back the tears that slipped freely down her face. How could she do this? How could she walk out on her husband and her child? Now 18 years on Alyssa Hudson wants to know the truth why her Mother left their family, and she's determined to find out.**

_AN: This is the basis of an Idea I've had for a little while, it's going to be focusing on Families, Mother Daughter Relationships, and keeping secrets. Here's the prologue please let me know what you think by leaving a review. Also if you have any Idea's you'd like me to include I'm more than happy to consider them..._

Slowly lowering her sleeping daughter into the cradle, Rachel couldn't hold back the tears that slipped freely down her face. Letting her tanned fingers gently stroke the thin layer of Brunette hair on Alyssa's head, she really thought her heart would break. How could she do this? How could she walk out on her husband and her child? Bending down she placed a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead trying to make a mental memory of Alyssa's baby smell and the softness of her skin.

Rachel knew she loved her daughter, but something had never felt right. She hated herself for not having what she believed to be a maternal bond. How could she sit and let her daughter cry and not have this uncontrollable urge to comfort her. Instead she would sit and cry herself, as she desperately wished to be left alone, to escape the life she had found herself in.

Walking away from her little girl for what she believed to be the last time, Rachel's mind shot back to Quinn and she wondered if this is how she had felt when she had given Beth up for adoption. If Quinn's mind had been screaming at her not to do it, but at the same time knowing she had no other choice, that this was the best thing for her daughter... and herself.

Rachel Knew Finn would never forgive her for walking out on their family that he would hate her with all his being, and that hurt Rachel more then she could possibly explain. She had tried to explain to him several times about how she had been feeling, that she worried she was an inadequate mother, that she felt like she was trapped and didn't have a life of her own, that her dreams where smashing around her feet. But every time he laughed it off saying she was being silly and if anything she had baby blues and it would pass. But nearly nine months on and the feeling had never passed it had just got worse.

Walking out the nursery the tears still falling, Rachel crept down the stairs desperately trying to avoid making any noise as not to wake Finn who was asleep in their bed. Reaching the bottom step and seeing her small case and duffle bag, the brunette let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding. This was it the final time she would be in her and Finn's home, the last time she would breathe the same air as her family, see her friends... Picking up her bag and case she pulled out her keys and an envelope addressed to Finn, and placed it on the small table in the hallway where the phone sat and a vase of fresh flowers. She tried to imagine Finn's handsome face as he read her goodbye letter, a letter that had took nearly a fortnight to write, a letter she had tried to convey and express everything she felt into. Looking down onto her left hand, she slid her engagement and wedding ring off and placed it next to the envelope, the last fragment of her heart breaking. Finn and Alyssa deserved better than this, better than her, and Rachel was going to make sure they got it.

Twisting the door handle and stepping out into the fresh night air, the moon casting shadows over the pavement, Rachel opened her car and put her few belongings onto the backseat. She had no idea where she would go or what she would do? It was the one thing in her plan that kept changing. She hadn't even told her Dad's on how she had been feeling, how could she, she just knew they would be sorely disappointed in her; at least she believed they would. The most natural thing in the world wanting to care and love for your baby and she couldn't even manage that. Turning the key in the Ignition, she slowly reversed her car, praying with all her might that in those last few seconds something inside her might change and just like that she would feel different... but she didn't and she drove, her heart broken and wounded.


End file.
